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Have you ever been in a relationship with a person you thought was your ideal partner and then, seemingly out of nowhere, your relationship crashed and burned? If you're like most people, you want to have a healthy, happy relationship with that ideal partner. Once you find that relationship, the first thing you'll want to do is learn how to maintain it. One of the biggest mistakes people tend to make is that they believe the myth that when two people enter into a relationship they become one. This article reveals seven steps for maintaining the "ME" within the relationship "WE"

To ensure a healthy, thriving relationship, it is essential that you preserve your own unique essence. You are a gift to every relationship you enter into. Your personal values, dreams, and desires add distinctiveness and spice that only you can bring. If you believe the myth that when you enter into a relationship you should become one with the other person, you will lose the true rewards a loving partnership can bring.

Whether you're just starting out in a new relationship or have been with your present partner for many years, supporting and eliciting everyone's unique qualities is a common challenge.

Often people are together so much that they are lost or lonely when they're not with their significant other. This loneliness or sense of loss is a clue that you might be losing the "you" in the relationship. When you make your dreams, values, and desires as important as your partner's, you maintain your sense of self. Maintaining your own essence is the easiest way we know to create and keep a healthy, happy relationship thriving for a lifetime:

Here are seven steps to cultivate and care for yourself:

1. Spend an evening reading. Make sure you read books that engage you, or just make you feel good. If you've been waiting to get your hands on a particular book, take a few minutes now and schedule time to read it. Quiet time at home, enjoying a good book without any interruptions can energize you and bring new life into your relationship.

2. Discover new places. Go somewhere you have wanted to go but haven't because only you were interested. Perhaps see a movie or television show that you've wanted to see, visit that Gallery with that interesting exhibit, or register for that language course you've always wanted to take. Don't deny yourself just because your partner might think it's boring.

3. If you like your family, spend time with them. Experiencing love from your family helps you to create and maintain lasting relationships in other areas of your life. Very often, when we first start a new relationship, we spend so much time with our partners that we don't believe we have enough time for our other relationships. Sound family ties help us feel a sense of community that is with us whether we're in a romantic relationship or not.

4. Hang out with your friends; get out and do things with them. Having good friends is a gift and also helps you to relax and be yourself.

5. Keep doing what you love to do. If you're a bowler and your partner isn't, there's no need to stop bowling. If you like to do puzzles, spend time doing them. Just because you're a couple and your partner isn't interested, doesn't mean you should stop being interested. It was something you liked doing before and it's almost guaranteed you still will.

6. Love yourself! If you don't, who will? Get a facial or a massage, or take a hot soothing bath. Do things that make you feel great--you know what they are. Loving and treating yourself well can only bring more love and caring into your relationship.

7. Discover what's deeply important to you. The fastest way to nurture yourself is to pinpoint what you value. When you do this, you are able to give to yourself and to your relationship from a much deeper and more authentic place. Be our guests and download our free values worksheet. You can download it when you visit our website. On completion of the exercise, make a list of the things you can do that will help you to have more of what you value in your life. Next time you are feeling lonely, get out your list and do something on it.

A happy relationship requires that you to spend as much time loving 'YOU' as it does loving 'the two of you.' Be sure to schedule time for both in your relationship.